I don’t know if you saw it or not… but this is seriously funny.

“The Chronic - WHAT -cles - of Narnia”

I had that in my head all of yesterday.

So you want to become a televangelist huh?

It’s easy. Just follow my 3 easy steps and you’ll be on your way to making mo’ money, mo’ money, mo’ money!

1. Decide on an international ministry name.

Example: J.A. Scott Worldwide International Ministries.

Here’s some tips: Always use your initials and your last name. It makes you look smart.

“Worldwide” and “International” are redundant, but they create the appearance that you are huge. You’re not only on their television set in Lincoln, Nebraska, but you’re in Mongolia too.

Notice, the plural “Ministries.” The viewer assumes that you have many ministries, not just what they’re seeing on tv.

2. Publish a book.

Go to www.getyobookpublished.com and for a low fee of $39.95, you can get a 100 page book published with a picture of you on the cover.

This is very important. Being an author gives you mad credibility.

Make sure you promote your book on your show every 5 minutes. This leads to mo’ money, mo’ money, mo’ money.

3. Record your show.

The last step is to find a buddy of yours that works at a church. Have him let you in the auditorium when they are not using it. Borrow a video camera and tripod and you’re in business. You don’t even have to have people there. The viewers will never know the difference.

Just make sure you get really excited and sweat a lot. Always have a handkerchief that you pull out and wipe your forehead with. And remind the people every now and then that you are a bishop.

What are you supposed to talk about you ask? Easy.

Learn a few big words and use them a lot. Like propitiation.

Example: “Jesus is the propitiation for our sins.”

All you need is that and a few scriptures and your ready to make mo’ money, mo’ money, mo’ money.

You’re on your way to becoming the next televangelist.

Eric and I arrived in Atlanta last night and had dinner at On The Border (awesome fajitas). We then crashed at the hotel and watched about 2 hours of preachers on Christian tv. Atlanta has to have about 20 christian stations. We laughed so hard making fun of these guys. One guy got so excited and worked up he said,

“We ought to get so full of God that we quit speaking for God and start speaking as God.”

Whoa.

I told Eric that he really didn’t know what he was saying at that point. He was breathing so hard I thought he might collapse. He only got up there with 2 scriptures to begin with. The rest was whatever was coming to his mind.

It was a good laugh.

“Troy Hurtubise admits he cannot program a VCR.”

But he built a cancer healing light machine called “God Light.”

What a great opening line.

He is offering a reward of $20,000 to anyone who can prove it doesn’t work.

Would you step in front of this man’s “God Light” machine for $20,000?

Read the article.

Al Yeganeh, the ‘no soup for you’ guy, announced Friday plans to sell his products in grocery stores across the nation.He also said they have plans to open 1000 soup stores in the next seven years.

Read the article.